Indulges – Do you recognize the difference…

…between your ranting, b*tching, complaining, whining, and your explaining, working a thought out?

Before anyone jumps to any crazy conclusion…this has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with wondering about my own behaviour.

Then again…maybe the question is a combination of us both…all.

Then again…maybe you don’t see your behaviour and it is just me and someone else or a bunch of someone elses. 

I purposely did not include, frustration, in this mix. Frustration is a result of dealing with the same ranting, b*tching, complaining, whining, over and over and over without any change in the result. Think a ferris wheel going round and round…a hamster wheel, more like it. Going nowhere fast and gaining speed till still nothing changes.

I’ve read the definition of crazy is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Sure, we all need to rant, b*tch, complain, but to what final result? What do we expect to get from this form of communication? Do we ever get the outcome we desire? Do we feel positive and lighter for this outcome or still dragged down and in the mood of rants, b*tchings, complaints?

Know when I feel lighter? When I’ve written these moments/thoughts in my journal. Between those pages I let go of every censor and just let the rants, b*tchings, complaints rip free. Oh do these thoughts run wild. I swear when I’m dead and gone…or alive and well…if some people read these pages, all of Hades is going to erupt.

But guess what.

These written moments are just that…moments. Moments of letting go of negative, destructive, bad moods. Moments of me questioning the whys of what is and has gone on around me. Moments of me figuring out my needs…my fears…my anger. Even my frustration.

Know what else turns these emotional moments around…ranting, b*tching, complaining to someone I know won’t rant, b*tch, complain right along with me. Someone who “gets” why I’m doing these, may even agree with me, but won’t do the same with me at the same time. Someone who will lead me to the other side of the rant, b*tching, complaint.

Yeah, sometimes I don’t recognize the difference, even confuse the explanation, thought process, for being what it is…a rant.

What I do recognize…it’s far better I use my journal than give a voice you can hear when I do rant, b*tch, complain. Just ask those I turn to when the journal is not enough. Oh wait, I didn’t tell you who they are…guess what, I’m not going to. Yes, they will recognize who they are because they’ve heard that voice.

Yup, I never included whine. I don’t whine. Never was in the whole poor is me pity party mentality.

So, why am I indulging in this posting? Simple. I believe when you put something out there into the universe it gathers energy and strength.

I know I don’t feel the way I want to feel when I give life to a rant, b*tching, complaint. Let me rephrase that…I don’t like the way I feel when I give in to a pointless, unproductive, hamster wheeling rant, b*tching, complaint.

I’d rather feel and be the way I am when I’ve worked it out between my confidant(s) and/or my journal pages.

Putting it out to the universe…next time (and you know there is always a next time) is it a ranting, b*tching, or complaining? Stop. Think. Ask. Stop. Think. Ask again. Proceed.

And a final, yeah, I know, someone reading this will only see a rant, b*tching, complaint. I won’t comment on whine…that I’ll save for the journal pages.