This Week’s Pondering

January 16, 2023

I know the story is in the details and there are no small details, but the small bit and pieces of the day can really bog you down. Today is one of those days. Much being accomplished, but not much of what I really want. Refocus or simple necessity or both.

January 9, 2023

Discouragement. We all face it at some point in our lives. Whether personal or professional; private or public. I’m struggling. I’m trying to pull myself up by the bootstraps. I’m trying to regroup, restart, re…anything. I’m trying and right now there’s no sign of which way I’ll go.

January, 2, 2023

It’s Monday, right? Happy New Year: 2023. I hope we reach all our goals, but not our dreams because dreams are living concepts that change, grow, and should never fade away. Keep dreaming.

December 26, 2022

Last Monday of December and last of 2022. I’m always uncomfortable with the last of any time, but as I’m typing this something caught my eye out of the bedroom window…a flock of birds flying in formation off into the grey skies to the point I can’t see them anymore…gone within a blink. I know they have a day-to-day survival, but there’s a freedom of all confinement when I see them. Time doesn’t end. Enjoy when this moment brings you.

December 19, 2022

Last Monday before Christmas and very little writing is getting done as I rush around trying to get ready for what is supposed to be a family celebration time…why do we do this craziness to ourselves? Instead of resting and enjoying we stress for perfection and creating time that races by. Finding my corner and remembering simpler ways to be.

December 12, 2022

Being sick during stress days is not helpful…we all know this, but I needed to rant a little

December 5, 2022

Start of the last month of the year. Have you reached your goals?

November 28, 2022

Distractions. Don’t let them get their grip on you. I knew I had a couple of bills to pay today, so I logged on and took care of that business, but now I’m tempted to get something else done that I need which then reminded me of something else all before I do my normal morning journal routine that is vital to me. It’s too easy to get distracted and ride that train (or bumpy bus) to the point you forget all the bits and pieces that you know are important and keep you on track. Detours and side tracks can offer wonderful discoveries; however, they can also derail us from our goals.

November 21, 2022

Believe. Self-belief. Today I will believe that I will continue to bend and not break. I do not need proof, but my writing will show this self-truth.

November 14, 2022

Change. It happens. Our choices in reading and viewing genres. Our choices in politics. Our taste in foods. And even in our fashion. I’m showing my mom it’s okay to choose colours and patterns she normally stayed away from because her mom thought them too bold…then again, I also showed my grandmother different colours and patterns she was too nervous to try. Politics? I changed my dad’s mind on one candidate one year. Change…it’s not that scary or even wrong. It’s about growing and that’s always a good thing.

November 7, 2022

Another weekend gone and still I have caught up in backlog of writing I wanted to get finished. Nano’s started and I finally decided to not participate this year. I was stressing on November 2nd because I hadn’t started and now was behind. I pressure myself enough with my lack of accomplishment that this was one stressor I could remove without even starting. No matter what we call work or work at it shouldn’t add to life’s stresses.

October 31, 2022

Happy Halloween

October 24, 2022

Today is Municipal Voting Day, going to go do my duty so that dad doesn’t haunt me…rather he haunt me for something fun 😉

October 17, 2022

Some worry about life imitating fiction. The truth? If writers are thinking and writing it, we’re not the first.

October 10, 2022

What am I thankful, today? Family. Home. All levels of friendships and what I’ve learned from them all. Learning. Creativity. Me. Yeah, me, I’m thankful for all I have accomplished, lived through, and continue into the future. You, for giving me the time to be here.

October 3, 2022

A writer cannot guarantee you or some part of you won’t end up in any of their characters. Can’t even guarantee a situation you think is yours is in their story or not because we honestly don’t always know or remember how something came to us. Writers tend to be sponges absorbing everything around them. You know the writer. You see you and yours in the story. Purely coincidental. Majority of our writing we have no clue what’s being typed/written…if we’re being truthful.

September 26, 2022

How come my fingers can auto-find the keys to type in passwords, but stumble as I’m trying to catch up with the scene in my mind?

September 19, 2022

Problem with taking a week off is getting back on track.

September 12, 2022

Happy Birthday to me, taking the week off

September 5, 2022

Missed last week, let’s blame end of summer holidays dulls. I have always had an issue with the end of any holidays, even weekends, found out it was all social anxiety-driven. Labour Day was the hardest and even though I’m well past that anxiety the memories still creep in.

August 22, 2022

Having one of those days were needing to refresh every internet connection and making breakaway spaces between what I have planned on my list. But, that’s okay, I knew my day was going to be divided into smaller bits and pieces and that prepared me for the internet connections being slow. Gotta go with the flow. Calling this Mysterious Monday 🙂

August 15, 2022

Some Mondays can be great days, today feels like one of those days. Have fun everyone.

August 8, 2022

Muggy Monday and everything feels wet and uncomfortable even the keyboard as I type. Not the weather that induces writing or anything creative. Does the weather impact your creativity?

August 1, 2022

I’m locking the door and writing. Nothing else, well, some play is required. Need something to switch my story mindsets. Derrick might muck about with playdoh, but I can’t see that being a Sherman Dudley thing.

July 25, 2022

Well, instead of narrowing down the stories; instead of getting short stories written; instead….I’ve just added more stories to my need to write pile. And, there’s one I forgot. This is why it’s dangerous for me to go through my notes.

July 18, 2022

Afternoon. How’s your weather? It’s overcast, rainy, and muggy here. The type that makes it unpleasant to do much, but sit and not move. However, I don’t want to spend my time doing that, at least not today. I’m writing…new journals for each story, the kinda I think the character would use. I’m trying to get into their mind inside of mine…yeah, just go with it LOL

July 11, 2022

Monday started with a flying something in my bedroom window. We think it’s trapped in the vacuum, now. It’s unsettling not knowing if you’re allergic considering two in your family are. Interesting start to this day…dare I wonder how the rest will go?

July 4, 2022

Be safe and remember we are all connected…what happens to one of us can happen to us all.

June 27, 2022

Could do with a redo, today, even being a Monday and I woke at 3am trying to figure out what day it was.

June 20, 2022

It’s a day of mixes and matches and plain ole silliness…oh and add a dash of what am I doing? Mondays can and should be fun

June 13, 2022

Feeling silly, so as my dad would say: Have a Fun Day

June 6, 2022

Always feels like I’m restarting, but then again, each day is a new start, so I’m back to where I was 😉

May 30, 2022

It’s been one of those days, so I’ll use an ex-co-worker’s words: Follow up, Follow up, Follow up…or how she wrote it F/U. Yeah, she might have had a double meaning 😉

May 23, 2022

Holiday Monday here in Canada, hope you all your enjoy your day wherever you are. Be safe. Be happy. Be you.

May 16, 2022

There are days the electronic frustrations are too real. Internet too slow or too flippy or too hiccupy. I believe there are gremlins in the machines, not ghosts, gremlins and they’re not drunk. They know exactly what they’re doing.

May 9, 2022

Weak habits are easy and positive habits are challenging…why? Breaking and ignoring the habits are in reverse…weak difficult; positive way too easy

May 2, 2022

Consistency and patience, two aspects I’m always in a battle with…you?

February 9, 2022

I struggle with consistency.

February 2, 2022

Morning. Why are the worthwhile habits so difficult to start and keep going? Small steps, right? Everything starts with that first small step.

January 18, 2022

Happy New Year! I’m a bit late, but life did get complicated again…beyond Covid. However, I’ve re-dedicated myself to, well, simply put, myself and my imagination and creativity.

I hope you have all kept well and are keeping your dreams alive.

Talk soon.


Dear Visitor:

Thank you for coming by. A quick update…health is doing well. Still clear of the cancer and the brain-fog has been lifted.

Currently, I’m working on weekly blog postings, not sure if I’m going to go back to daily blog themes. I do post daily thoughts on my dedicated Facebook page and share those throughout social media. Might go back to sharing writing prompts on specific days. or search for @WriterChristineSteevesSpeakman

I tackle my storylines by working on each story on their specific day, may take longer to write, but it keeps their voices quiet so I can work. Yes, being a writer is to know the voices are fictional and are your own voice. Keeping sane as a writer is also to openly recognizing there are voices telling you the story and that you will argue with different mental parts of yourself.

My trick to keep new stories from crowding in? I keep a journal for just first lines or titles, nothing more goes in there. It’s one way I warm up my brain. Plus, I’m ignoring two Nanowrimo stories which I didn’t finish…might find room on the weekends for them. Hmm, might be three.

That would make twelve stories on the go, maybe fourteen if I count the teen mysteries separate from the children stories. I have quite a bit of catch up writing.

Oh, and I made a commitment to have my poetry published in 2021. The aim was to submit a poem a month, but I forgot January was creeping close when I made this promise. I still have time in February.

Short stories. I want…will…see those come to print in 2021. Goal…at least six.

And all this doesn’t include my alter-egos Theadora and Melody. Or my reviewing. Or my Direct Sales.

It’s a good thing I like being busy. I missed being busy.

Talk again, soon.


Just like myself, my page here is going through changes and growth. Hope you keep visiting.

July 15th….twitter feed added, blog back live

Where have I been?

Below was written while I was in the hospital, I believe, it’s been nearly a year since I walked out. Today’s May 23 2019 and there’s more to tell of my story, but that’ll come a bit later…

Fighting for my life. Lymphoma to be exact. Relearning to use my legs…and toilet. Hey, never say I’m not blunt and open.

The summer of 2017. Thought burning heat at groin joints, back of neck, hands and feet were strange menopause symptoms.

September 11, 2017. Doctor visit and blood work…menopause or something else. I know my family doctor (and me) knew it was going to be cancer. Why not. It’s not like I’m invincible or special to avoid something that is so common. I’m just lucky it turned out to be something “they” believe can be cured. I’m looking for remission, maintenance, living with it. Cure? I’ll take it, but call me too realistic to hang onto that one simple word.

So, I’m restarting everything. Working from my hospital bed to keep the mind and fingers moving. Tomorrow, I should be starting round three of six chemo treatments. The rest of the week could be hellish, but I need to keep concentrating on therapy to move and eating. The close to hundred pounds I’ve lost isn’t what I ever looked for.

The hair loss…I’ll rock it when I acknowledge it.

What has me nervous is about two weeks after round three I’ll  have another CT-scan in order to see if the spots on liver and spleen have either shrunk, shrinking, or gone.

What’s it like fighting cancer? Not much different than any other day except for being more tried, loss of appetite, not free to move as one wishes. It’s life and I’m being taught to use all the colours in my crayon box. To look around and open my eyes that too much time has already gone by with us saying…let’s do this, that, the other thing…and end up not doing any of it. There will always be something going on, but when you’ve been forced to be quiet and still you quickly learn the something is nothing.

How did I end up here?  On way to a normal clinic visit I stepped down the stair landing and my legs said…nope. They just collapsed under me…moments after I had just walked to the stairs.

Ambulance ride here and up to a ward and first round of chemo.

Wild ride of a dream that was no dream. Why was the one nurse telling me to stay in bed? Wacky dream. Oh crap. I really am upside down on the floor beside bed, bare butt in the air, legs dangling, and catheter showing for the world to see.

No dream. I did it twice. Woke up in panic with second. Don’t remember trip to new area but no more of that drug. People pay to feel that out of themselves? Freaked me out.

Then pneumonia either following or followed by low oxygen. Did you know our oxygen levels should be 93% for our body to function healthily? Down to ICU…not the one my dad died in years ago, but one for us critical patients who need more oxygen than the other area is allowed to handle. At one point I was breathing on my own but with 80% added by machine. Six days later I’m back “upstairs” breathing all on my own.

Now I wait for round three.

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