Author’s website at MuseItUp Publishing
Book 1: Life With A Fire-breathing Girlfriend 
Back Cover
A lot of guys claim to have hot girlfriends. David Fraser has one who actually breathes fire.
Rose Drake is a Dragoness in Human form, come to Earth for three years to soak up the local energy and increase her chances of having happy, healthy, baby hatchlings when she goes home. In exchange for his time and energy, David’s body and love life both undergo extreme makeovers. It sounds like the deal of a lifetime.
Fate doesn’t let David and Rose off so easily. A friend of theirs is murdered, their homeowner’s association starts harassing them, and they have to complete a quest for an Elven sage in order to stop a genocidal Unicorn from turning Earth into a radioactive wasteland.
After all, when you’re dating a Dragon, you’re already a hero. It says so in the fine print.
Excerpt
This time the spiders didn’t wait for us to open the door. The wood shattered and giant, hairy bodies launched themselves at us. I cut two down with one stroke, then stabbed a third through one of its eye sockets.
Ember fell back, outside my range of vision. I heard her kiai and a loud, wet splat. No screams, so I advanced.
Jake pulled his Room Broom, a pistol-grip pump action shotgun, and emptied shell after shell into the mass of spiders filling the work room. Miranda was keeping an eye on the ceiling, blasting any creepy-crawlies trying to flank us.
The mass of bodies parted enough for me to glimpse two large boxes on the floor, almost the size of shipping crates. “Fall back! Don’t fire into the storeroom! Choke them at the door!”
Ember skipped outside, turning to scan the area while she kept her meteor hammer swinging. A Rottweiler-sized spider jumped at her from the underbrush. She caught it across the mandibles, knocking it to the side. It sprang back to its feet and charged right into the point of my sword.
Miranda ran out of shotgun shells and drew her Glock. She slung the shotgun over her shoulder and started pumping rounds into spider heads, two shots at a time. Double tap works for spiders as well as zombies.
Outside the shop, I stabbed my sword into the ground and drew my bow. “Jake! Fall back, now!” Even with an extended magazine, his shotgun was empty as well. He tossed a flash-bang and ducked outside. The concussion stopped the mob for a few seconds, but it was enough for Jake to get his AR-15 unslung.
As the spiders reached the shop’s doorway, I aimed and fired as fast as I could, trying to block the exit with their corpses. It was a good plan, but I didn’t have enough arrows. I drew my sword again and looked around, trying to spot our air cover.
Rose and Harmony were laying down a wall of fire partway up the mountain side. The slope seemed to be a solid mass of spider bodies, but for now the Dragon-fire was holding them at bay.
The wall of spider bodies blocking the doorway heaved and the bodies spilled out onto the ground. Jake fired three quick bursts into the shop, but there was no response. Miranda loaded the last of her loose shotgun shells into her magazine and moved to the side to cover the door.
“I think we should look somewhere else,” Jake called out. “They really like this place.”
“Negative,” I replied. “I saw two big crates in there. If they’re the ones we need, we can wrap it up here.”
Ember screamed, grabbing at her back. Miranda knocked the spider away and shot it as it landed. She got Ember’s arm around her shoulder and shouted, “Ember’s bit! Find out what’s in there, fast!”
Jake tossed me a big can of pepper spray and pulled his gas mask down over his face. I put mine on as well and we charged the door, spraying everything in front of us. I checked the corners and didn’t see anything moving; by the time I looked up it was almost too late. A kick from two hairy legs knocked Jake into the storeroom while a stinger the size of my forearm stabbed me in the chest. It knocked the wind out of me but my armor held. I staggered back as the spider shifted to try again. I flooded the base of the abdomen with pepper spray, hoping to hit the lungs. I must have succeeded, as the thing dropped to the ground. I took its head off with one stroke.
I heard Jake swearing and I headed to the storage room. He was face down with a spider on top of him, chomping down on his helmet. I gave it a shot of pepper spray and chopped down on it once it moved off Jake. I helped Jake up and we kicked spider corpses aside until we could get to the crates.
Jackpot. Both wooden crates had the bamboo-looking rune painted on them. I grabbed a hammer and pried the lid off one. Every box in it bore the seal we needed. I hammered the lid back on and jerked my thumb at the door. “We’re good! Clear the road!” I stacked one crate on the other and hoisted both in my arms. Jake covered the corners and kicked a few spider bodies out of the way as we charged outside. I set the crates down and grabbed the radio. “Marines! We are leaving!”
Jake and I wrestled the crates into the last two storage bags and lashed them closed. Rose kept up the air patrol while Harmony hunkered down so we could load the bags into the travel trunk on her back. The opening was almost too small, but the trunk itself was another dimensional storage space, so there was plenty of room once the shipping crates were actually inside it. We weren’t quite finished when the ground started heaving. I shoved the second crate in and latched the trunk.
A quarter of a mile away, midway up the mountain slope, all manner of spiders spilled out of a long-disused mineshaft. Rose swooped down to lay down a stream of fire, but the flood of arachnid bodies overwhelmed and smothered the wall of flame. She pulled up and started climbing, setting up for another pass, when the side of the mountain collapsed. I don’t have arachnophobia, but I still damn near shit my pants.
The thing’s body was as large as my house. Hairy, spiked joints and the familiar red and orange carapace. Mandibles big enough to crush a car. It screeched and started down the mountain toward us.
Book 2: The Land Beyond All Dreams
Back Cover
In this sequel to Life With a Fire-Breathing Girlfriend, David Fraser has a world of trouble on his hands. Well, more like three worlds of trouble…
His mother is dying of lung cancer. His employer’s experimental weight-loss drug is turning people into flesh-eating psychopaths. And Ingrim Thain, an undead necromancer, has murdered the program’s research director and taken over his body. If all that weren’t enough, a cat with working thumbs just moved into David’s house.
Thain doesn’t even want to be enemies—he offers David wealth and power beyond anything he’s ever known. He even offers to cure David’s mother and spare those he loves from the coming war. All Thain wants is for David to stay quiet about the drug’s side effects.
Do the right thing and his mother dies. Do the wrong thing, and his mother lives while billions of others die.
For David, the solution is simple. Thain’s appetite for conquest endangers not only Earth, but Rose’s world and every other world Thain learns about. Thain must be stopped.
But how do you kill someone whose will has already proven stronger than death itself?
Excerpt
A boy who looked about fifteen sat down at the table next to me. He looked perfectly normal, except for a livid rope burn around his neck. It ran under his jaw and raised a bunch of ugly associations in my mind. He placed his hands on the table, palms down, and said, “Let’s all be nice and civil, shall we? It would be a shame to damage this lovely building.”
I nodded. “Thain. Did you kill this boy yourself?” Inside, I focused on Rose, urging her to hide her nature and try to pass as Human. From the look she gave me, I was pretty sure she understood.
Thain looked offended. “Of course not. Without form, I cannot harm the living. This boy killed himself just as I found myself in need of a new body. He’s been an adequate host, and soon I will be able to reconstitute my own body. After that, he can rest in peace.”
I unclenched my jaw and kept my voice low. “You’re ruining my appetite. What do you want, dead man?”
He spread his hands and smiled. “You wound me. I’m here to help you.” He gestured toward Mom and added, “And by that I mean you, Mrs. Fraser. Even in this state, I can heal you. All I ask for is David’s word he will not oppose me until the war begins.”
Mom’s fingers tightened on her cane. “Go to Hell.”
Thain held his hand up. “Allow me to explain. Your son has somehow acquired a level of magical ability unprecedented for this world. He survived judgment by Ma’at, the feather of truth. It revealed him to be a true and upright soul, the kind of man who can seize glory during the times to come. He could lead your world’s resistance, and I would be honored to be tested by him. Allow me to heal you, and you will live to see your son become the world’s savior.”
Rose’s lips pulled back into a snarl, and I could see her nails starting to transform into talons. “Why should we wait? The smart thing to do would be to destroy you now.”
“Where’s the fun in that?” Thain shook his head. “Certain destruction is boring. Why do you think I’ve allowed David to live? Besides—” He gestured toward sounds of kids playing in the park across the street. “—do you really want to start something while we’re surrounded by innocents? Please, think of the children.”
The waitress brought our food and set a glass of water in front of Thain without really looking at him. Thain watched her walk away and sighed. “Speaking of reasons not to rush the end of this world…”
“Why us?” Mom leaned forward and tapped her finger on the table. “Why this world? Why don’t you find a world that’s already lifeless and conquer it?”
“This world invited me here, Mrs. Fraser. The preoccupation with zombies in popular culture, the energy put into dreaming of a global war against armies of the undead—they drew me here like a beacon. All the people out there who are suffering and failing under the dominant social structure crave a new world. One where the rules are simple, more understandable. No banks, no government, no little robots spying on you from the sky. I’m fulfilling that wish.”
I stood up. “No deal, Thain. Get out of here.”
Thain looked at Mom. “Last chance to change your mind, Mrs. Fraser. I urge you, think about what beautiful children your son and his lady friend will have. Choose life.”
Mom took my hand. “I’d rather die.”
Thain stood up. “Oh, you shall. So soon, in fact, I regret the need to hasten it. You cost me physical form, David. Observe and learn the price of your foolishness.”
Swirls of wind whipped through the trees and flowers surrounding the patio, and all around us the trees and flowers collapsed into acrid black grit. The grass, the trees in the park and along the creek, every plant we could see for blocks around us, all dissolved into the same grit.
Birds, squirrels, and a host of other small animals fell from the sky or ran out of their hiding places, screeching in agony as they, too, were consumed. The water in the creek turned into noxious, green-black sludge, and the fish flopped around in it until they vanished as well.
In the middle of it all, Thain stood there, jaw clenched, staring at us through a dead child’s eyes. Black splotches spread across his face and arms, spilling out black grit until the lesions ate him away, leaving nothing but black sand mixing into black sand.
Book 3: Dragon’s Luck 
Back Cover
Las Vegas. City of sin, neon, and epic bad decisions. David Fraser and his fiancée, the Dragoness Rose Drake, are in Vegas for the BuzzCon gaming convention, seeking an investor for the online game they are developing. It’s a long shot, but even in Las Vegas, long shots occasionally pay off.
The warrior god Crom has other plans. A centuries-old religious war between the Dark Elves of a distant world threatens to spill over onto Earth. Crom’s followers need an artifact capable of killing the demoness known as the Bloodmaiden before she can become a full-fledged goddess and establish her worship on Earth. It’s a quest worthy of a Hero. A Hero like…David.
To succeed, David will need all the strength, resourcefulness, and luck he can muster. Fortunately, he has Rose to call on, and she has a way of making her own luck. Anyone who tries to stop them will find out what happens when the dice come up Dragons, the hard way.
Excerpt
With our canopy open, Nadia twisted the handle on top of the grenade, counted to three, and yelled “Cover your eyes!” She popped up long enough to throw it in front of the group on our left. It bounced wide and the charging Hellsteeds raced past it.
For an instant, a fifty-foot circle in the Arizona desert was brighter than the sun. The blast wave knocked one car off the road and sent us lurching to one side. The Dark Elves to our right were slammed to the side, all but two unhorsed and knocked to the ground. The ones to our left never emerged from the fireball. When the light faded, nothing was left but a cooling pool of molten glass.
The two still riding split up, putting plenty of distance between themselves. One threw a cloud of Darkness at us, but it was fixed in position. The car punched through it and was out of the area in moments.
The second guy was more devious. Whipping and kicking his Hellsteed hard enough to tear off dead flesh, the rider pulled ahead and let an arrow fly at the front tire. It hit dirt and exploded, leaving a good-sized pothole.
As he nocked again, Rose fired off three rounds from the gold Desert Eagle she’d claimed. One round struck him in the chest, the other two hit the Hellsteed’s shoulder. I couldn’t be sure, but I think all three rounds bounced off him and the horse. He grinned and loosed another arrow, blowing another hole in the desert.
“You need enchanted bullets!” Eric called out. “Give me the gun!” While he focused on it, Nadia peeked over the rear window and nailed the guy who’d thrown the Darkness spell. Her spell looked and sounded just like a blaster pistol out of a space opera. I guess she had better training than the average clone soldier, since the bolt ripped his chest open, sending his arms and head in several different directions. With its rider gone, the Hellsteed vanished.
“Nice! What was that? I don’t think I’ve seen it before.” Eric passed the pistol back to Rose. “There. Aim for the head.”
Nadia blew on her finger, pretending it was the barrel of a gun. “Mother calls it Zapper. It’s an upgrade of the basic Unerring Bolt.”
An explosion shook the car, shattering the canopy and sending bits of glass flying through the air. Thankfully, the spell reinforcing the back window held. Most of the glass scattered to the side or fell behind the car.
“Get a library, you two!” Rose leaned out and squeezed off three quick shots. A Dark Elf dropped to the ground, bouncing to a stop as his Hellsteed vanished.
Nadia took a quick look over the back seat. “Four playing catch-up, two on each side of the road,” she called out. She glanced sideways at Eric and tilted her head toward the oncoming riders. “Your turn!”
As she said that, a zone of Darkness appeared ahead of one of the riders. He entered it and a second one appeared ahead of us. I tried to dodge it, but it was too close. The lights only went out for a moment, but it was enough.
The first rider teleported through the pools of Darkness, appearing crouched on the trunk. He ignored Nadia and Eric, vaulting over the rear window and grabbing the back of my seat. He raised his sword to stab me, and Nadia kicked him in the back of his knee. He fell backward on top of her.
Nadia grabbed for the guy’s sword arm. He pulled away and elbowed her in the stomach. Eric tried to pull the guy off Nadia and got a face full of Elf boot. Rose tried to aim at the Dark Elf, but couldn’t get a clear shot.
Another arrow hit the rear window, blowing holes in the glass, shaking the car, and sending the trunk lid skidding and bouncing into the dirt. Eric wasn’t hurt, but the concussion knocked him to the floor. Rose switched targets and Bow Guy quite lost his head.
Nadia seized a handful of Elf hair and yanked the guy’s head backward. She bit hard, trying to tear his throat open. Good plan, but he was already dead. He reversed his sword and drove the blade through his own heart and Nadia’s.
Eric’s roar was pure Dragon, shattering the windshield and both of my eardrums. My sense of balance went to hell, leaving me ready to puke as the world spun around me. I slumped against the door, totally forgetting about things like driving.
Rose grabbed the wheel and stomped on the brakes, sending us bouncing and skidding off the road. The soft dirt slowed us down and Rose managed to get us stopped without rolling the car. She touched the side of my head long enough to heal me, but I was still too dizzy to stand.
As we came to a stop, Eric pulled the Dark Elf’s sword free and threw it at one of the remaining two riders. It went wide, but they dropped back. He got a good grip on the Dark Elf and hurled the corpse at the pursuing riders. They dodged it, but came to a stop as well.
Nadia’s body jerked, sending a stream of blood into Eric’s face. Eric ripped his shirt in half, trying to keep pressure on both sides of the wound. “She needs a healer!”
Rose vaulted into the back seat. “Two closing fast. Kill them while I’ll fix her!” She saw the doubt in Eric’s eyes and growled, “I’ve got her! Kill the rest, now!” She shoved Eric aside and cupped her hands over Nadia’s heart.
The last two riders spurred their steeds and charged. Eric stepped out of the car and stared at them, fists white-knuckled and shaking. They drew their swords and he gave them the finger.
Three rows of pikes, fifty feet across and tight as the teeth of a comb, shot out of the sand and dirt. Both riders and steeds crashed to a halt, each impaled a dozen times over.