I nearly gave up writing. I was learning I knew nothing about writing. Knew nothing about getting published. Knew nothing about the industry. All very discouraging to any newbie writer. This was back in May of 1999.
Today, I’ve heard newbies of 2012 voice my old concerns. I’ve talked with newbies who are just as discouraged as I was back then.
Thank heavens for my first online Mentor, Babs Lakey. The, then owner/creator, editor and publisher of FUTURES Magazine. Now, FMAM: Futures Mystery Anthology Magazine.
She talked with me about a new section of her magazine called “Starting Line.” If I remember correctly, this title was given to essays, shorts, material from newbies. She asked/convinced me to write and submit. I did.
In the FUTURES Magazine, the print version, of August /September 199 this is what appeared. My first published piece:
THE GIFT OF WORDS
Today I gave up a dream. I guess there are worse things I could do. Today I said goodbye. Goodbye to part of me, perhaps it was to my soul or just to the truth in me. Today I conform. Today I push and tug my way into society’s suit. Today I follow, instead of forging through on my own.
I am lost in this suit. I flounder my way through the day in every direction. Today I don’t know who I am. Today I am sad and afraid.
Yesterday I flew. I was free. I was lost but knew where I was. My world was full of colour and laughter. There was fear and the strength to overcome. Yesterday I gave birth to worlds no one had ever known existed. Yesterday I was alive.
Can you see? Do you understand? Do I. There inside me is the truth of who I am. I dream of worlds never seen. I see inside the hearts of others, of you. I see the whys of our actions. I have no answers to give. All I have to give are words. They are my gift to you.
Today I dream. Today I do the best I was meant to do. Today I open my soul up to the world. Today I am true to myself.
