Warning.
I’m pissed.
I probably shouldn’t write when I’m this angry, or at least keep it to my private journal. However, I’m making the open choice to write it live here.
The point here is when you lie you’re treating someone like a piece of garbage. Something to be tossed away like a used tissue…hence the picture of my trash can.
My dad told me for years there are three sides to Truth…mine, yours, and somewhere in the middle lies the full Truth.
What did I take away from this? Simple…open your eyes and look from the other side. Try and see through the other person’s view. What are you missing? How else could your meaning be taken? Did you express yourself incorrectly…use the wrong word or phrasing? Where you wrong…in any part of the matter?
What part of the lie, falsehood, fudging of the line, not full story, are you holding back because…?
Because what?
You can’t admit you’re wrong?
You can’t admit you misspoke?
You can’t admit you forgot something that changes everything?
You can’t admit that by admitting will make you look…what? Embarrassing? Silly? Stupid? Weak? Wrong?
You can’t admit you’re just pissed?
Really folks. A lie is better?
Is presenting part of a situation a lie or just boosting your view? Sorry, when you don’t give a full view, a balanced view…you’re still lying. Okay, fudging the line.
Do you really want me to start in on how telling negative tales hiding behind a blank face or pseudonym isn’t still lying?
Hey, I’m a writer, I have a pseudonym. Why? Simple…I don’t want to confuse those who read under my real name with a genre they may not be comfortable with. That should my middle grade stories see more than my computer light, some child or tween doesn’t end up getting a steamier story. One they shouldn’t be reading.
Oh, and my fiction isn’t technically under my legal name…I changed to my husband’s last name when we married. However, my fiction will always be who I was before that.
Are these lies? I can see the argument that they are.
Now if someone is under protective care…we’ve all heard of witness programs. Family names being withheld to protect a minor…a victim. Are these lies by omission? Yup, there’s an argument there, too.
What about when we say something the opposite of what we really mean or feel in order not to hurt someone’s feelings? Yup, those are lies…with good intentions.
But, isn’t the road to hell paved with good intentions?
Go ahead, ask the question…Have I not ever told a lie?
Gasp…I have. I’ve fudged the line.
BUT.
I have never lied in order to damage, take down, get revenge, be mean, to spite someone, or to feel better about myself. Nor have I lied because I’m mad at someone.
Oh, and if you’re reading this and think I’m talking about you…why would I be? There is only one way, that I know of, in which we place ourselves within someone’s words…thinking/believing they are referring to us…sorry, make that two: (1) we know inside we’ve done what the person is talking about or (2) we’ve experienced what the person is talking about.
So, if you see yourself here…why?
In the end the truth will bite you in your ass.
Signed
Oh hell no, I’m not perfect…but I’m perfectly peeved.
A good essay. You draw a distinction between what's usually called a "white lie" and those told to hurt, demean, or spite someone. And between those two there may be shades of gray, but not fifty shades. 😉
Thanks, John. Much appreciated.
Fifty wouldn't begin to cover the number of shades 🙂
Very well said, Chris. We all lie in a way to cover up some transgression to a loved one or to a boss. But willfully lying is something that is wrong and I feel the same way. I don't like people who lie to me either. Good post.
Thanks, Barbara. Appreciated.
Willfully lying…yup, that covers it. I understand not having full information which can make a comment seem a lie. I can understand mistakes and goofs…I do enough of those.
Own up and apologize and make right…I do, many I know do.
But…yeah…some I'll never ever understand. So I've learned to let go and move on