Excellent accountant; vampire failure

Opening:  When you live for centuries, it’s hard to keep up with all the changing tax laws. Mind-trapping a new bookkeeper ever decade or so gets cumbersome and boring. Turning the accountant Sherman Dudley was the easiest solution. Who knew he faints at the sight of blood.

Crazy dialogue line to be used: “Good grief, who are these people? You can’t claim thralls as dependants.”