Who taught you boundaries? Who closed your boundaries? Are you missing anything – anyone?
Where did you mark your line you will not cross? Do you continually move it?
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying how others treat you how you’ve taught them. You’re an open door policy, always there, never say no. A giver.
You’re closed off, rarely there, back out all the time. The maybe-meaning-no routine. Not a taker, just absent.
Do you fight for a balance? Doing as able without keeping track, but can admit to some expectations. Those that understand about being fair, a give-take understanding.
It’s difficult to be honest with ourselves because there will always be part that doesn’t want to admit our own shortcomings. That’s human nature. But, do you ever admit you might be wrong? That you have crossed someone’s boundary because you simply didn’t respect them.
Respect?
Wait, what does that have to do with this?
Everything.
How do you feel, react, when your life rules, boundaries are crossed? Not thought about, not considered. It’s personal, isn’t it? You’ve been disavowed, disrespected.
Boundaries are not just about what we will and won’t do. They are the expectations we place on those who are part of our lives, want to be part of our lives. If someone refuses to see them, how can they see us?
However, don’t let your boundaries trap you. You made them; you can adjust them.
These are living boundaries not fixed barbwire fences.